Rejoice Ngwenya, Zimbabwe
Reading online from AfricaCheck, I gather “population growth has caused total number of abortions in sub-Saharan Africa to increase… while there were 4.3 million abortions in five years from 1995 to 1999, by the period 2015 to 2019 this had risen to 8 million.” Closer home Zimbabwe, National Library of Medicine states “little is known about unsafe abortion in Zimbabwe. The most recent source of data on contribution of abortion to maternal mortality is from 2007; at that time, abortion complications were one of the top five causes of maternal mortality, accounting for 5.8% of maternal deaths.” Interpretation of these metrics gives one the impression that wherever abortion is illegal, women (and doctors) tend to conceal the procedure resulting in exaggerated statistical conjecture.
We (still) remember Kamala Harris campaigning in recent US presidential elections, placing abortion rights at the core of her messaging, much to the chagrin of the more conservative president elect, Donald Trump. The subject of abortion evokes not just medical, but also ideological and religious tantrums. Only a miniscule number of Christians support foetal termination for whatever reason, obviously, as they classify it as ‘immoral and heartless infanticide’. (We) liberals may not outwardly support abortion, yet we leave that choice to affected individuals because it is their body. Our official stance is that you don’t go around decreeing what people should do with their bodies, especially adult women. This ‘non condescending mantra’ equally applies to gays, lesbians, and transgenders. Non-intervention templates are as applicable to democratic expression as there are to “even if you don’t agree with what I say, allow me to say it” scenarios.
There are hundreds of motives for foetal termination, but I like to dwell on one – pregnancy outside marriage. Rhodesians had a crude name, more or less archaic and derogatory, for a child born of unmarried parents – bastard. It was only after independence that the phrase ‘out of wedlock’ surfaced – at least to us of non-legal predisposition. Pre-independence I did British law only to encounter its Roman-Dutch counterpart back home, thus I cannot quite recall how familiar citizens then were with the phrase ‘out of wedlock’. However, thanks to modern day enlightenment and positive attitudes towards women and children’s rights, it is despicable – if not outright criminal – to label any baby a bastard. Yes, ‘normal’ childbirth may be a result of marriages and weddings, but these ‘events’ do not define humanity. Like I mentioned last week, children do not choose to ‘appear’ for single or married parents. Reproductive decisions – except in rape or accidental marriage – are choices we make, so we cannot label children on the basis of our choices. Moreover, even when an innocent infant has been retrieved from a dust bin, pit latrine or deserted railway station, the child remains an amazing gift to humanity deserving no absurdly weird labelling.
I think society assigns too much prejudice to voluntary or involuntary single motherhood. In any case, if your ear hugs the ground on feminism and women’s rights in progressive African countries, many professional women opt for ‘human sperm lab’ options in order to exclude us men from the ‘post-delivery dependency value chain’. Let me clarify. A woman makes up her mind to have a baby but with no strings attached and identifies a ‘suitable stud’. So, if you’re the type like us anaGushungu who are sworn to love, that woman is not for you. All she embraces is your reproductive capacity only, then sends you packing. Most women in Nigeria, Kenya, Botswana and South Africa have flagged this option in various forums I have facilitated. Reason: permanent male presence in my life is disruptive! This for me is progressive, but only to the extent that one day, when the child wants to identify their ‘donor dad’, the mum does not place obstacles.
The surrogate mummy approach is common in the West – either through the lab or an identified ‘volunteer’. Again, the ‘FedEx mummy’ must be prepared to emotionally extricate herself from the baby soon after delivery, forever. Any attempts at re-union with the adopted child may attract serious if not vindictive litigation.
Now, since you and I are probably ‘typical’ Zimbabweans brought up on a diet that children SHOULD have a mother and identifiable father taking responsibility, it’s time we moved on. Women can look after their own children, how they choose to. Such children have as much constitutional rights as those of marital provenance. The father may or may not appear on the birth certificate – which I think it’s no big deal really. If a woman chooses not to identify you as ‘father of my child’, it’s her right, as long as she foots the bills. I know many men – too many – who seek validation by trying too hard to be ‘good’ foster or step parents to children of single, widowed, or divorced mums. Get a life, Bozzo!
So here is the logical conclusion to the whole story: it matters not how the child was born to a single mum – accidental pregnancy, rape, deliberate reproductive option, surrogacy, adoption – that child has a proper name and is a legal persona. Save your feigned sympathy for more deserving philanthropic situations. Such a situation should not complicate a woman’s life even if she decides to marry elsewhere. I have witnessed traditional lobola rites where the bride’s aunt almost lies prostrate, bends over backwards explaining that “By the way, I hope you are clear that your muroora comes here with (child) baggage…” Seriously, baggage? Possibly, in other less enlightened families, such a ‘mvana’ (that term, gosh!) may even attract a substantial discount in rusambo negotiations. Only because her ‘purity’ was ‘spoilt’ by a child outside marriage. I want to die! As my learned friends would say, “aequalitas ante legem”, convince your mind on the nobility of childbirth whatever the marital status is. If you want to draw me into the arena of morality and ‘traditional norms’, you will find yourself swinging the sword against your own shadow like a drunken ancient Samurai.
